Baby Name Regret is Real–Here's How to Avoid It

Deciding on a baby name is one of the first (and biggest) parenting decisions you'll make, so it’s no wonder many can experience stress during the process. Some parents choose to keep their naming choices secret until after the baby arrives, while others hire baby name consultants to help narrow down their choices. 

Even with this service as an option, Google Trends tells Parents that the search term “baby name change” increased 2% year-over-year in the past month. People who searched “baby name regret” also Googled “how to fix baby name regret,” “how to get over baby name regret,” “baby name change cost,” and “baby name change after birth.”

You Say 'Milo'–I Say 'Myles'

One parent on Reddit experienced baby name regret when she chose two very similar monikers for her sons.

“My oldest is Milo,” she explains in a thread that garnered over 500 comments.

For her second son, she explains they went with Myles. Three weeks after Myles was born, she wonders if she “messed up,” since family members, friends, and even the doctor have mixed up the kids' names. The Redditor was so distraught, she admits she considered changing Myles's name.

Commenters quickly weighed in with stories about similar names in one family, such as a person who shared her husband has cousins named Mitchell and Michelle.

“It's a tongue twister,” the commenter admits, going on to say she also knows twins named Rachel and Raquel. Another commenter says a friend has daughters named Ava and Avery.

“I still can’t keep them straight,” she admits.

Ultimately, Redditors collectively agreed the names Myles and Milo are way too similar.

“The mixup at the doctor will not be the last. Imagine them going to the same school, the same pharmacy, dentist, day care, swim classes, field trips, you name it,” one commenter notes, adding, “You'll kick yourself if you don't change it.”

To be fair, some supported the mom, with one person saying, “I had neighbors growing up named Danielle and Daniel. It worked fine for them!”

Another commenter declares, “That’s your child and you name them whatever you want to. Stop worrying about what other people think.”

Advice for Navigating Similar Baby Names

Not everyone will agree when it comes to this particular case, but we turned to some experts for advice on what to do if you fall in love with similar baby names.

Indeed, Jennifer Moss, the CEO and co-founder of BabyNames.com, author of The Baby Names Workbook and One in a Million Baby Name Book, and producer and co-host of The Baby Names Podcast, tells Parents that moms and dads definitely have “naming styles.” 

“We don’t recommend that parents choose names that are too similar for siblings—even twins! Each child should have their own identity,” she adds.

Boston, Massachusetts-based baby name consultant Colleen Slagen agrees that a lot of parents-to-be are attracted to similar-sounding names. Examples include Cameron and Camila, or those ending in the same sound such as Charlie, Teddy, and Henry—or Brooks, Hayes, and Miles. Some people may also favor soft-sounding, vowel-heavy names versus names with harder consonant sounds.

“And certainly many—not all—parents tend to gravitate towards names that fall within the same style categories, whether it’s classic names, vintage names, romantic-sounding names, or Western names,” she says.

Slagen says there are ways to avoid picking too-similar-sounding names:

• Abide by the three-letter rule ensuring the names do not start or end with the same three letters.
• Put as much thought as possible into names before the baby arrives.
• Run your ideas past a trusted family member or friend. (If you're comfortable sharing)

Meanwhile, Moss’ advice is this: “If you absolutely have to use similar names, then instigate some nicknames that are different. Make sure you have different middle names. Give them their own identity and let them choose what name they’d like to go by.”

“I’d say the best advice for parents who fall in love with similar names is to learn more about what makes them unique by diving deeper into the meaning, history, and cultural significance of the name,” suggests Crista Cowan, Corporate Genealogist of Ancestry.com and The Barefoot Geneologist.

“A recent survey from Ancestry found the two most important factors for parents when selecting their child’s name are history and their culture," Cowan tells Parents,

Changing Your Baby's Name is a Viable Option

Even if you follow the three-letter rule, do a deep dive into a name’s meaning, and then experiment with nicknames, baby name regret still happens.

“Name regret and going through a name change can be a very painful experience,” Slagen acknowledges. "And if you do find yourself in a situation where you are suffering from incurable baby name regret, it is worth going through a name change if it's not too late.”

Moss explains that name changing laws vary by state, so check to see what your state's laws are.

“We recommend that if the baby is an infant, [name-change] would be no harm to the child,” she says.

As for the Redditor with sons Milo and Myles, she updated followers in an edit that she plans to keep her son’s name.