Why Are Couples Choosing a Combined Last Name for Their Families?

Getting married and potentially parting with your last name can sting. But having a child and not passing on your family's name or feeling left out of the equation can be heartbreaking. 

While choosing one parent's last name to pass onto children works great for many families, it is a tradition that began in the 15th century, making it long overdue for an update.

So what other alternatives are out there? One newer option is gaining popularity: creating a combined last name. Parents frequently choose first names for their children, but this new method is emerging as a choice for people who want to have more of a say in their children's last names as well.

What Is a Combined Last Name?

A combined last name is just what it sounds like: a combination of two last names blended together to create a new identifier for a family.

Names hold a lot of meaning. For some people who are unwilling to give theirs up, creating a combined last name with their partner is the best way to preserve the importance of both.

One engaged couple on TikTok explains that when they were debating who’s last name to take, they decided they would choose the last name of whoever’s family was more supportive of their LGBTQ+ marriage. When that idea didn’t work out the way they had hoped, they turned to a more creative name option.

“Our last names that we already have just didn’t necessarily feel right to the other person or for the other person to take… so we decided officially to blend our last names to create a whole new surname and also give our family its own identity where we both are involved,” says Taylor Mahoney (soon to be Mason) (@taylor.abundantly).

The couple decided to combine parts of their previous last names, taking the “ma” from Mahoney and the “son” from Wilkerson, to create a new last name: Mason.

And this couple is not alone. Even celebrities like married actors Alexa and Carlos PenaVega have challenged naming norms by sticking their two original last names, Pena and Vega, together. They now have three children who all share their combined last name.

The Pros and Cons of a Combined Last Name for Baby

With this trend becoming more popular, it's important to understand the benefits and drawbacks of choosing to give your baby a combined last name, because changing a last name is not always a simple process.

The pros of a combined last name for your baby

• Equal parental importance: A combined last name gives equal weight to both parents and allows all family members to have the same last name without one partner having to forfeit their own.
• Pushes back against a limiting tradition: This system of last name choosing avoids the heteronormative assumption and gendered connotations of typical naming traditions, making it a good option for LGBTQ+ couples.
• Acknowledges heritage: Your baby’s last name can acknowledge parts of both their parents’ languages and cultures.
• Builds new family: If you feel disconnected from the family your original last name is connected to, using a combined last name allows you to shed any meanings or associations behind your baby’s last name aside from those that you choose to create.
• Customizable: Have you had a favorite baby name picked out for years, but realized it completely clashes with your partner’s last name? A combined last name allows you to choose a surname that can be customized to naming preferences.

The cons of a combined last name for your baby:

• Not all names sound good together: You and your partner’s last names may be too long, sound clunky together, or even combine to spell out words with unintentional meanings. 
• Displeased extended family: Even if you think a combined last name is the best choice for your family, subverting expectations might mean you have to deal with unhappy extended family who may have assumed you would pass on their name.
• Divorce difficulty: In this situation, it can be difficult to decide which partner will take and which will change their last name and how a divorce affects your child's last name.
• Different name than family: Your baby will not have the same last name as members of their extended family.

Choosing a Combined Last Name for Your Family

You may have seen this growing trend on social media or even met people in your life who have chosen to combine their last names, but how did they actually do it? 

The first step of the process is picking out a name that suits your baby and your family. There are many ways to approach the last name combining process, but some of them include:

• Swapping the first letters or first syllables of the two last names.
• Choosing your favorite parts of each name to mesh together.
• Not feeling creative? There are plenty of online name generators that can help you combine them! You can also hire a baby name consultant.

How to Legally Create a Combined Last Name for Your Baby

Unfortunately, picking out a name is often the easiest part of the process; managing the legalities can be a bit harder. Each state has different rules regarding changing last names for both adults and babies so you should be mindful of regional differences in the law.

In some states such as Montana, Maryland, and Delaware, there are no restrictions on registering a baby’s last name on their birth record. If you live in one of these states, giving your baby a combined last name is as simple as writing it down! However, most other states require more lengthy methods.

Changing you and your partner’s names before your baby is born

If you and your partner have the same last name before your baby is born, it's very easy to pass on that name–you just write it on your baby’s birth certificate. 

For you and your partner to have the same combined last name, you'll both have to complete your state court’s name change procedure. Each state will differ, but most require the following documents:

• A filled-out name change petition form and sufficient payment for any fees
• Proof of ID such as a driver’s license, passport, or military card
• Your birth certificate (or a copy)
• Proof of residency, such as utility bills or documents with your names and address written
• A sworn statement attesting to proof of good character from two American citizens. This document must be notarized, which can sometimes incur a small fee.
• A sworn statement disclosing any child support obligations or outstanding tax. This document must be notarized, which can sometimes incur a small fee.
• Fingerprints and state/federal criminal background checks

Once you have gathered all of these documents, you and your partner can file them with the state court’s clerk for review. If the request is accepted, it can take multiple weeks or even months for a name change certificate to be granted. Note that each state has names that are illegal and will not be accepted.

After this, you can begin to update your other important documents such as your: 

• Social security card
• Drivers license
• Passport
• Voters’ registration
• Bank information and credit card
• Insurance
• Mortgage holder
• Health care information

While this method may seem like a lot of work on your part, if you want all of the members of your family to share the same last name, it does save you the time of also having to change your baby’s last name in the future.

Changing a baby’s last name after they’re born

If you and your partner decide to give your child a combined last name after they already have one written on their birth certificate, you will have to follow the name change procedure of your state court. Again, each state will differ, but most require the following steps:

1. Fill out a petition for name change: This form will usually involve basic information about your child’s current name, custody status, and the name you are looking to change to, as well as reasoning for this new last name. Make sure to check your state’s regulations to know what documentation is required.
2. Sign off on the decision: Parents or guardians of the child must agree and sign off on the name change petition.
3. Attend a name change hearing: This step differs depending on the state, but the judge will often ask parents to explain their reasoning behind the name change and open the floor to objections. If your child is old enough, they may be eligible to testify as well. If the judge decides the name change is in the best interest of the child, they will grant the name change.
4. Making important documents match: Luckily, children don’t have credit cards, mortgages, or voter registrations to update, but you will need to request a new Social Security card and amendment to their birth certificate. 

Other Ways to Choose a Last Name for Your Baby

Combining last names can be a fun route to explore, but it's certainly not the only option. If you and your partner’s combined last name options don’t feel right for your family, there are plenty of other modern ways to decide on a baby’s last name.

• Avoid gendered expectations by simply choosing whichever partner’s last name you like more. If you grew up as a man who got picked on for your last name, there's no reason you have to pass it on–get rid of it and take your partner’s last name instead!
• Hyphenating or choosing a double-barreled last name is an increasingly popular choice.
• Pick one partner’s last name to pass on and use the other partner’s last name as your child’s middle name to honor both sides of the family.
• You can go in the opposite direction and choose a completely new name that has no connection to either parent’s original last name.