How To Choose a Name for Your Baby

Many parents feel overwhelmed when considering how to choose a name for their baby. The process can be fun, but the responsibility of naming another human being can also make it a bit intimidating. After all, your child will carry that name throughout their life. 

You may already have a good idea of what you’re looking for in a name. But your partner, family, and friends may also have a few opinions. Getting everyone on the same page can be challenging, but it doesn't have to be a stressful experience. Here, you'll find information and tips for getting through the naming process and picking the perfect name for your baby—even if you're considering more unique baby names. 

Choosing Baby Names

You may have a long list of girl names, boy names, and gender-neutral names already started by the time you find out you’re expecting, but not everyone does. Some parents start from scratch with each child, and some even wait until the baby is born to choose a name. Each parent finds inspiration differently, but many expectant parents begin with a specific category in mind, such as the following suggestions.

Family names 

• Grandparent’s names 
• Mother’s maiden name
• Juniors or III, IV, V
• Family traditions

Cultural or ethnic names

• African
• Chinese
• French
• Greek
• Hawaiian
• Irish
• Italian
• Japanese
• Native American
• Russian
• Spanish
• Vietnamese

Place names

• Cities
• Countries
  
• States

Names from pop culture

• Actors
• Artists
• Athletes
• Book characters
• Disney
• Movie characters
• Musicians
• Politicians
• Songs
  
• Television characters
• Video game characters
  

Religious names

• Buddhist
• Christian
• Hindu 
• Jewish
• Muslim
  
• Spiritual names
• Virtue names

Other popular categories

• Astrology
• Colors
• History
• Mythology
• Nature
• Seasons
  

Choosing a Middle Name

While optional, a middle name has a few practical uses. For parents who give their child a family name that others in the family also have, a middle name helps to provide the child with a separate identity (cousins John Robert, John Joseph, and John Christopher can all feel as though they have their own name even though they are all named after grandpa, for example).

A middle name is also the perfect place to hide the family name you choose more out of obligation than because you love it. The middle name can also provide some balance. The middle name can be more creative or unique if you’re going with a more formal first name. Or if you’re choosing a very unusual first name, the middle name can be more traditional.

A middle name is also a great place to put a safety name or a fallback name for your child to use later in life if they don't love their first name. If you choose a gender-neutral first name for your child, for example, you can add a more traditionally gendered middle name, such as Avery Duane or Sydney Elizabeth. Having a middle name can give kids options as they grow.

Choosing a Last Name 

When it comes to your child’s surname, you may not have a choice—at least initially. In some states and countries, for example, the baby must be given the father’s last name, if known. Sometimes, it has to be the mother’s or gestational parent's last name. Laws like these are exclusionary and can complicate matters for families who don't fit into the assumed family structure such as same-sex couples or single parents by choice.

In many states, however, parents have more freedom to choose a last name at birth. Some families have parents with different last names who hyphenate them to indicate the joining of the two families (e.g., Mary Smith-Jones). Other families combine parts of each parent’s last name to make a new one (e.g., Davis + Anderson = Daverson or Andervis). Also, some families don't use either parent's last name. Instead, they give their child a completely different last name, though this isn't allowed in all states. 

The Role of Family Traditions in Naming a Baby

Family traditions can play a big part in how some parents choose a baby's name. Your family may have a long history of using the same naming pattern. For example, the first boy gets the paternal grandfather's middle name, and the second boy gets the maternal grandfather's middle name. 

Other families have long lines of boys with the same name. It starts with a Senior (Sr.) and Junior (Jr.), then it goes on to Roman numerals: James Smith Sr., James Smith Jr., James Smith III, and so on. If your family doesn't already do this, it can be a way to create a new family naming tradition. And even though it is often passed down among men in the family, women can have this tradition, too.  

Birth Certificates and Legal Issues 

A birth certificate is issued for every live birth in the United States. The parents and hospital or birthing center staff usually fill out and submit all the paperwork before the baby is discharged, but the time you have to complete this paperwork varies.

Parents often ask whether or not they have to decide on their baby’s name before leaving the hospital. The answer is typically no. So, it's usually not an issue if you plan to name your child at a religious ceremony. But, you can prepare for this situation before you have your baby by checking with the birth certificate clerks at the local hospital or the Department of Vital Statistics where you live to get information about the laws in your area.

While some countries have many laws about what you can and cannot name your baby, the United States does not have too many rules. The name laws in America are usually there for practical reasons. So, you should generally be OK. However, you may have a problem if you want to use a picture, symbol, or accent in your child's name. 

Religious Considerations and Naming Ceremonies 

Religious obligations for naming a baby vary greatly. Some parents give their baby the name of a figure within their religion, and some give their baby a name with a spiritual meaning. If you are a person of faith, you can consult your religious leader about your religion's specific customs. 

Many different religions hold a baby naming ceremony. For example, this type of celebration is part of the Christian, Catholic, Jewish, Hindu, and Islamic faiths, among others. It is a time to welcome the baby into the religious community and bestow blessings and good wishes upon the child. 

The ceremony may occur in a place of worship or at home. A religious leader, family members, friends, and other community members may attend. Sometimes, the name given at a naming ceremony is the same on the baby’s birth certificate. In other cases, it is an additional spiritual name not on the birth certificate.

Tips To Consider When Naming Your Baby

After considering family traditions, religious considerations, and any potential legal issues, you may finally have a first, middle, and last name that you’re ready to run with. You can do that, of course. But it's worth considering a few more things before making it official. Here are some tips for ensuring the perfect name is "the one:" 

• Write out the initials. You may want to ensure you aren't giving your baby initials that spell something rude or odd, such as Aaron Simon Samuels or Claire Octavia Wilson.
• Think about the nicknames. Consider potential nicknames people could give your child, and make sure you like them and feel good about how they match your child's last name.
• Consider sibling names. You may want to give your children names that all have the same first initial or names that sound good together since they'll often be said in the same breath. Plus, explaining to your kids why one has a super rare name (say, Zaphon) when their sibling's name is something very common (like Bob) may be challenging.
• Be careful with meanings. Some states and countries have laws that prevent you from naming a child anything considered offensive.
• Give thought to the uniqueness. Unique names are creative and fun. But, a name that is too unique can be tricky to get through life with. Others may avoid saying it if it is too difficult to spell or pronounce. The child may have to constantly repeat it or spell it out for others.
• Check for multiple spellings. You may not be sure of a specific name, but changing the spelling can make all the difference. It can also make a difference in how easy or difficult it is for your child to spell and explain.
• Check for similar names. A similar name may strengthen your case for the name you love or make that fringe name seem more acceptable. It can also fix an issue with initials, meanings, or nicknames. 
• Find balance. If you aren’t sure about a unique or traditional name, balance it out with a middle name. Pick a conventional name for the first name and a unique name for the middle name, or vice versa. 
• Don’t be afraid to change a tradition. Some last names have made their way into the world of first names (such as Lennon and Avery). And some names traditionally given to boys are becoming more common for girls (such as Hayden and Jordan). 
• Realize your geography may matter. You might love a geographically bound name, perhaps to a local celebrity or location. However, it may be viewed differently in different areas of the country or the world, which may or may not bother you.

Compromising With Your Partner

Don't panic if you and your partner don't see eye to eye when it comes to baby names. Possible disagreements are a great reason to start discussing baby names early on. The more time you have to talk about it, the less stressed you'll feel.

One method that works well if you have a partner continually rejecting names is asking them for a list of names they like. It certainly narrows your choices, but it can prevent a lot of frustration when you don't otherwise know what they consider a "good name." Your partner’s list can also be a starting point.

Sometimes, baby name arguments can get heated. If you can't decide on a name together, you can agree on another way to name the baby. For example, some families allow one parent to choose the first baby's name and the other parent to name the second baby. You may also agree to have someone else choose a name, such as a close family member. Perhaps each grandparent can submit a name and decide on one as a family.

Dealing With Friends and Family

If you want to get input from your family and friends, that’s great. Of course, getting advice and opinions isn’t always helpful or pleasant. Sometimes family can get pushy about a name or find reasons why they don’t care for the name you are leaning toward. They may even try to get you to change your mind.

If you can ignore their objections and not let their negativity sway you, then go ahead and tell them what you’re thinking. But if it would really bother you to hear negative things about the name you love, then you can keep that name to yourself until after your baby is born.

You may also want to consider how well your family handles change. If you anticipate your family becoming upset because you’re going to break with tradition, you may want to warn them in advance. That doesn’t mean you have to tell the name you plan to use. It just means they’ll have time to get used to the idea of change. Be understanding if they are disappointed, but stay firm in your commitment to your baby's name.

How Baby Name Popularity Is Determined 

The popularity of baby names in the United States comes from actual birth data and birth certificates of babies born each year for over 100 years. The Social Security Administration (SSA) collects the information and makes it available on its website. You can also search for the top names in the nation by sex, state, and year.

The popularity of a name can be helpful information as you search for the perfect baby name. It's also a good idea to check the state lists since the popularity of a name can vary significantly from one part of the country to the next. What is popular in one state may be uncommon and unique in another.

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