Top 13 Pregnancy Fears (and Why You Shouldn't Worry)

I'll Experience a Pregnancy Loss

One of the biggest fears about pregnancy is the fear of losing a pregnancy. According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), up to 10% of clinically recognized pregnancies (confirmed on an ultrasound) end in miscarriage. When you consider unconfirmed pregnancies, the rate is likely higher.

According to Karyn M. Solky, MD, OB-GYN at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, most pregnancies result in healthy babies. She also says to remember that most miscarriages happen within the first few weeks of pregnancy when many people don't realize they're pregnant and wouldn't know if they did miscarry. "They'd just get a normal-looking period," she says.

Most miscarriage statistics are incomplete because many miscarriages occur before people know they are pregnant and miscarriages are under-reported. For example, according to the National Institutes of Health (NIH), people generally have their first prenatal visit after their eighth week of pregnancy. That means miscarriages that occur prior may not be officially recorded.

That said, older studies suggest that after a health care provider can detect fetal cardiac activity (usually around 6 to 8 weeks), the risk of miscarriage drops significantly to about 4%. And the odds continue to drop as your pregnancy advances. And the chances of having a second miscarriage are very small—less than 3%, says Diane Ashton, MD, MPH, former deputy medical director for the March of Dimes.

So what causes a miscarriage? Often, it's due to a chromosomal abnormality that prevents the fetus from developing typically, and miscarrying is unavoidable—not because of anything you did or didn't do. According to a 2014 study, risk factors include:

• Advancing maternal age
• Alcohol use
• Smoking
• Being underweight or having obesity
• Heavy lifting
• Night work
• Caffeine

You can lower your risk by not smoking or drinking alcohol and reducing your caffeine intake (aim for 200 milligrams or less, or one large cup of coffee, a day).

Morning Sickness Means My Baby Isn't Getting Enough to Eat

Pardon the comparison, but babies are very good parasites, says Dr. Solky. "They'll absorb all of the nutrition from the foods you do give them—so even if you're living on only crackers and juice, you don't need to worry," she notes.

Dr. Ashton agrees: "Unless you're sick to the point that you become severely dehydrated—and if you were, you'd feel so lousy that you'd call your doctor anyway—morning sickness isn't going to cause any nutritional imbalance or affect the fetus."

According to ACOG, morning sickness does not harm you or your fetus's health. In fact, morning sickness can be a good sign. However, if you cannot keep anything down and begin to lose weight—a severe form of morning sickness called hyperemesis gravidarum—it may affect your baby's weight at birth.

There are some things that may help you manage your morning sickness, including:

• Taking your prenatal vitamins
• Eating small, frequent meals
• Avoiding certain foods that trigger nausea

If you constantly find yourself over the toilet bowl, you may need an anti-nausea medication that is safe for the baby. Hang in there: Most people can stomach a wider variety of healthy foods after about 16 weeks, which is coincidentally about when your baby needs to start gaining more weight.

I'll Eat or Drink the Wrong Thing and Harm My Baby

A common pregnancy fear is the fear of eating something bad that will harm the fetus. Expecting parents feel a lot of pressure to do all the "right" moves during pregnancy, says Dr. Solky. But agonizing over every decision will drive you bananas—and there's no need for it.

A health care provider should outline the big no-nos at your first prenatal visit, and you can ask about any major concerns then. Remember: No one can follow every rule and guideline to the letter.

Avoiding Listeria—a bacteria that leads to food poisoning—is important in pregnancy. According to ACOG, it can lead to pregnancy complications and cause serious infections in a fetus. During pregnancy, you are 10 times more likely to contract listeria. So, to be safe, avoid the following foods:

• Raw (unpasteurized) milk and cheese
• Hot dogs and lunch meats
• Unwashed raw produce such as fruits and vegetables
• Sushi with raw meat
• Raw or undercooked meat

"Even the risks associated [with] things like eating unpasteurized cheese or dying your hair during your first trimester—both of which doctors advise against—are probably very, very small, and we're just being extra cautious," says Dr. Ashton.

So don't fret if you accidentally order a turkey sandwich (oops...forgot that cold cuts are off-limits!) or sip a glass of juice at brunch, then realize it's unpasteurized. Chances are, it'll be just fine.

My Stress Is Hurting the Baby

Between pregnancy hormones, sheer exhaustion, and planning for a baby, it's normal to feel on edge occasionally. But stressing over your stress is useless, says Dr. Solky—especially because a super-taxing day at work will not harm your baby.

According to the NIH, high levels of stress during pregnancy can lead to the following:

• Trouble sleeping
• Headaches
• Loss of appetite or a tendency to overeat
• High blood pressure
• Increased chance of preterm labor or a low-birth-weight infant

That said, most run-of-the-mill, day-to-day stress doesn't pose these risks. But it doesn't hurt to incorporate stress relief into your routine. This might involve a mindfulness practice, writing in your journal, venting to your partner, or going to bed an hour earlier.

My Baby Will Have a Birth Defect

Like many parents-to-be, one of your fears about pregnancy may involve worrying about your baby's risk of being born with a congenital abnormality. You may hold your breath during every single prenatal test, hoping the results will prove your baby is healthy and developing on track. And it's overwhelmingly likely that they are.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), around 1 in 33 babies are born with a birth defect. That translates to just a 3% risk—or more optimistically, your baby is 97% likely to be born without a congenital disability.

These stats include both the more severe congenital disabilities as well as thousands of other identified abnormalities, many of which are small and insignificant. For example, a problem with a toenail or a tiny heart defect that goes away soon after birth without causing any long-term health issues are both considered birth defects.

Even if a screening test (like an ultrasound or quad screen) comes back abnormal, it doesn't necessarily mean there's a problem. In many cases, subsequent tests confirm that everything is fine, says Dr. Solky.

You can't always prevent birth defects because many are caused by a complex mixture of factors, including genes and environment. However, some have known behavioral causes, so the CDC recommends some things that can reduce your risk, including:

• Receiving prenatal care as soon as you know you're pregnant
• Taking 400 micrograms (mcg) of folic acid every day
• Avoiding drinking alcohol and smoking
• Discussing your medications with a health care provider
• Preventing infections during pregnancy
• Treating fevers with Tylenol (acetaminophen)
• Avoiding hot tubs and saunas
• Having medical conditions under control before becoming pregnant

You should also talk to a health care provider about your specific concerns. They should be able to give you a clear idea of the actual risks, given your family history and age, and help put your "what if" worries into perspective.

I'll Go Into Labor Too Early

This pregnancy fear is on many pregnant people's worry radar. According to the CDC, about 1 in 10 babies are born prematurely (before 37 weeks), or about 10%. But for Black Americans, that rate is closer to 15%.

Certain things place people at greater risk for preterm birth, including:

• Being pregnant in your teens or over 35
• Being Black
• Being low-income
• Having had a previous preterm birth
• Having an infection
• Carrying multiples
• Drinking, smoking, or using other substances
• Having high levels of stress

While you can't change some things, like your age, race, or income level, avoiding exposure to illness, avoiding alcohol and other substances, and reducing stress can lower your overall risk of premature birth.

I'll Have Pregnancy Complications

Many fears about pregnancy center around the potential complications that could arise for you and your baby. According to the NIH, some common complications of pregnancy include:

• High blood pressure
• Gestational diabetes
• Infections
• Preeclampsia
• Preterm labor
• Depression and anxiety
• Miscarriage and stillbirth

According to the CDC, about 1 in 25 people develop dangerously high blood pressure (preeclampsia). That's a risk factor of about 4%. It's more common in people over 40 and those with high blood pressure during pregnancy. "But if you had any of these factors, your doctor would be monitoring you closely from the very beginning and would likely catch the condition early," says Dr. Ashton.

Gestational diabetes occurs in 2% to 10% of pregnancies in the US, according to the CDC. Since gestational diabetes can lead to fetal problems, like being very large, being born early, and developing type 2 diabetes later in life, health care providers routinely screen for this condition. Fortunately, gestational diabetes is treatable.

It's not always possible to prevent pregnancy complications, but getting regular prenatal checkups and alerting your doctor to any concerning symptoms will ensure they are caught early when they are most manageable.

Sex Will Never Be the Same

If one of your fears about pregnancy involves sex after giving birth, you're not alone. Lots of people worry their bodies won't feel the same or they won't have the same amount of privacy or time for sex as before.

After your baby arrives, you'll need to give your body time to heal. During the first few months, odds are you and your partner will crave sleep more than sex, anyway.

Once a health care provider gives you the green light, don't hesitate to take it slow. Sex may hurt or feel uncomfortable the first few times (lube will be your new best friend). But the human body is an amazing thing with an incredible ability heal.

In fact, studies show that 89% of people resume sexual activity within six months of giving birth. And once your muscles regain strength, some new parents find their sex lives improve post-baby.

Labor Will Be Too Painful

Many parents' top fears about pregnancy involve worrying about the pain of labor and delivery. First, take a step back and realize that people have been doing this since the dawn of time—and there's plenty you can do about the pain these days.

Studies have found that labor pain is highly individual, meaning no one experiences it exactly the same way. Researchers say that cognitive, social, and environmental factors influence how people experience labor pain. In addition, when people believe the pain is purposeful and productive, they tend to experience it as non-threatening.

Some techniques that people have found helpful in managing labor pain include:

• Attending childbirth classes to prepare
• Exercising regularly to build stamina
• Using medication (like an epidural, analgesics, and nitrous oxide)
• Using relaxation techniques
• Having labor support from a professional doula
  

Dr. Solky says that regardless of your worrying style, having a health care provider you trust who can chat openly about your fears and wishes and talk you through what to expect is most important. "That will go a long way toward putting your mind at ease," she says.

Delivery Will Be Embarrassing

You've likely heard about people in labor who poop on the table, throw up on their doctors, or curse out their partner in front of everyone. So, these stories may fuel another one of your fears about pregnancy: Embarrassing yourself.

But remember, your health care providers have supported countless laboring people, so they've likely seen everything before. "Nothing grosses us out," says Dr. Solky. "So put it out of your mind!"

If it will ease your nerves, you can always institute a "stay north of my waist" rule for any family or friends keeping you company.

I'll Need an Emergency C-Section

Nearly one-third of babies in the US are born via C-section, according to the CDC. So it's only natural for major abdominal surgery to be one of your fears about pregnancy.

According to ACOG, reasons for C-sections include:

• Labor does not progress
• The fetus is in distress
• You are birthing multiples
• You have problems with your placenta
• Your baby is very large
• Complicated presentation (like breech, for example)
• You have a health condition that makes vaginal birth risky

But many of these surgeries are scheduled in advance. In other words, they're not the scary last-minute, rush-into-the-OR kind, says Dr. Solky. A C-section might be planned, for example, if the baby is breech or very large, if there are problems with the placenta, or if you had a previous C-section.

"I can tell you from my own experience that emergency C-sections are not common," Dr. Solky notes. "But if something happens and you do need one? That's why you're in the hospital."

I Won't Make It to the Hospital in Time

Maybe you read one story about someone who birthed their baby in a car, which scarred you for life. While lightning-fast labor can happen, the reality is it's not common. In truth, you'd probably have enough time to fly across the country between your first contraction and hearing your baby's first cries.

According to the Office on Women's Health, first-stage labor usually lasts 12 to 19 hours, with the second stage lasting 20 minutes to two hours. Of course, some people will have longer or shorter labors. Precipitous labor—a labor that results in birth less than three hours after contractions begin—is rare. Research suggests it only occurs in 0.1% to 3% of pregnancies in the US.

"It's usually toward the longer end of the range for firstborn children," says Christiane Northrup, MD, author of Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom. Have a chat with your OB-GYN or childbirth instructor to make sure you're completely clear on when to head to the hospital. Doing a trial run, so you'll know exactly how long it takes to drive there, may also quell any lingering apprehension.

I'm Not Going to Be a Good Parent

You know exactly who you are as an individual now and perhaps as a partner, a professional, and even a pet owner. But some pregnancy fears center around who you'll be as a parent.

What will happen when you throw a child into your established mix? Will you be able to balance the needs of your new life with your old one—not to mention figuring out how to teach your child, discipline them, and build their self-confidence?

"Our ability as humans to bond is endless," says Steven R. Goldstein, MD, a professor of obstetrics and gynecology at New York University School of Medicine. "If you're concerned about being a good parent, it's a positive sign," he adds. "It means you really, deeply care." And that's a sign you're perfectly suited to your new role.